Friday - Went out to The Command Post to give Mike from the D&D Meetup a CD-ROM with some RPGA adventures for the game day he's organizing for July 13th. I really don't want to run this, but I have a hard time saying no when someone asks me to do something. After that I went to Cherrydale Cinemas and saw Wanted(good stuff), and then went to Hollywood Video and bought 4 dvds with their buy 2 get 2 free promotion (Once, Into the Wild, The Namesake, and Stardust if you were interested).
Saturday - Watched Stardust and hung around for home for a while. Went to Vespers for the first time in three years and enjoyed being there, but I hate everyone making a big deal about me being there. I just want to get past this interregnum and back into the normal SJOTL swing of things. Of course, it's weird to want to get back into church life when I am so hopeless and am practically agnostic these days, but for better or worse it's home for me. After that, I went to Browncoat Karaoke at Guadalajara. We had a smaller crowd than usual (only 10 or so as opposed to 25-30 last time), but had a decent time. I sang "Benny and the Jets" with Evil and Patrick(not my choice) and "Tupelo Honey" on my own. I had put in "Amish Paradise" but didn't have time for that. Afterward, I went with Evil, Karly, and Good to see Wanted at Hollywood 20(yes, for the second time in two days).
Sunday - Went to SJOTL, left out early, and stopped by my old place to check the mail. I received my paycheck for jury duty a few weeks ago; a whopping $66. Woo-frickin'-hoo. Since some of the mail was for Jacob and he had the day off from work I stopped by his apartment. I invited him and Elias over to my place to watch season 2 of Dexter and to make something interesting out of the leftover chicken breasts from the picnic that needed to be used up. We ended up making a mole sauce and serving the chicken with onions and peppers along with guacamole(that we made), rice(zataran's jambalaya mix), and steamed squash and zucchini. It was excellent, and a great way to end the weekend.
I'm still pretty depressed, but I'm opening myself to the possibility that I can be somewhat happy even if I do give up on achieving any of my dreams. Maybe the fact that I can't let them go is what is making me so miserable, and I should just accept the not terribly interesting lower-middle class person that I am.
Sunday, July 06, 2008
Thursday, July 03, 2008
Three Day Weekend!
I'm looking forward to this break.
I decided to not make any plans and just relax around the house this weekend, which should be great. I haven't had a non-eventful weekend in months.
I need to do some straightening up around the house as well. So it should be a nice therapeutic introverted weekend. Yay!
I decided to not make any plans and just relax around the house this weekend, which should be great. I haven't had a non-eventful weekend in months.
I need to do some straightening up around the house as well. So it should be a nice therapeutic introverted weekend. Yay!
Tuesday, July 01, 2008
Am I too nice?
Sometimes I think I am too nice for my own good. I don't want to be the bad guy, so I let people walk all over me, and then I get depressed over that. I think being worried that people are intimidated by my size has gimped my personality into being a teddy bear who is everyone's friend but doesn't stand up even when he thinks he should.
Of course, I'm probably just blowing off steam right now. Sorry for annoying both my readers.
Of course, I'm probably just blowing off steam right now. Sorry for annoying both my readers.
Depression...smash!
So some good things are happening...I love my car I've had for almost three weeks(of course I haven't sent in a payment yet), I had a big turnout for the UG picnic I organized this past Saturday at Table Rock.
Yet, even with all of this going on, I still find myself almost continually depressed. Feeling like every avenue of possibility has closed to me and I am almost powerless to make even small changes in my life. That I’ll die alone after a meaningless life. The usual I guess, which is why I won’t bore anyone (including myself) with further detail.
Maybe the time has come for me to put up or shut up and finally see a shrink. I’ve been avoiding it for a long time; horror stories of couch-jockeys who don’t listen and just hand out scripts make me nervous, but I don’t think that analysis itself is the key anymore. Maybe I do have some kind of chemical imbalance that keeps me from enjoying life no matter how hard I try to silence the demons within. Maybe there is a pill that can make me not wish I was dead sometimes and get up with excitement. I kind of doubt it, but I guess it is possible.
Yet, even with all of this going on, I still find myself almost continually depressed. Feeling like every avenue of possibility has closed to me and I am almost powerless to make even small changes in my life. That I’ll die alone after a meaningless life. The usual I guess, which is why I won’t bore anyone (including myself) with further detail.
Maybe the time has come for me to put up or shut up and finally see a shrink. I’ve been avoiding it for a long time; horror stories of couch-jockeys who don’t listen and just hand out scripts make me nervous, but I don’t think that analysis itself is the key anymore. Maybe I do have some kind of chemical imbalance that keeps me from enjoying life no matter how hard I try to silence the demons within. Maybe there is a pill that can make me not wish I was dead sometimes and get up with excitement. I kind of doubt it, but I guess it is possible.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
New (to me) Car!
After the second time of my Lumina being in the shop in as many weeks, I decided to stop delaying the inevitable and get a newer car. The Lumina is a 1999 model and has 150k miles, so I don't think there are too many miles left, and certainly not enjoyable miles at that. I'm giving it to my 17 year old brother as a first car.
Over the past two weeks, I've test driven many cars. Everything from a Volkswagen New Beetle to a Honda Pilot to an Audi A6. This was more to familiarize myself with the cars out there and decide what attributes are important. First of all is reliability. I'm tired of cheap american econo-sedans that all look the same and crap out after 100k miles. Second was fuel efficiency, of course. And the third was comfort. I am a big guy, and a Yaris would not be a good fit. These were my only major considerations, but I also wanted something that wasn't like every other Camry out there, and something I can be enthusiastic about instead of yet another ho-hum-mobile.
The first vehicle I seriously considered was a Honda Element. On paper it was a good match, and the look of the car didn't bother me. When I test drove one however, I was not impressed. The driver area was not terribly comfortable(the window controls jammed into my leg) and the car had very little acceleration.
I tried a Saturn Vue next. Another small SUV with not terrible gas mileage. There was nothing bad about this vehicle, but nothing leaped out as nice either, and since the ones I looked at were $15-17k I didn't want to spend that much on something I didn't really care for.
Enter the Scion xB. It also met all of my requirements on paper. I went to test drive a 2006 in Easley that I saw on Autotrader. When I arrived, the car listed as an automatic turned into a 5-speed. I haven't driven a 5-speed in 10 years, but it was easier than I remembered it being. I loved the car. loved. The salesmen were sharks, though, and I wanted to try an automatic, so I walked off the lot.
At that point I stated doing heavy research on the xB online and calling dealers all around SC, NC, and GA. The only xB in Greenville was a 2005 with 42k miles that the dealer wanted $17,995 for. I found my black box in Augusta, GA. A 2006 with only 18,039 miles with a sticker price of $15,000. I talked him down to $12,500 and agreed to buy on Thursday just after lunch.
I had already setup financiang, so I just had to take my blank check from Capital One with me, but the problem was finding a ride down to Augusta within the next hour. Since it was Thursday afternoon, I was betting that Elias might be over at Jacob's apartment and drove over there (he never has any minutes on his phone), but no luck. Just as I was pulling out of the apartment complex, Leigh called me. She said she was having a bad day and needed to hang, so I told her my predicament and she volunteered to drive me to Augusta if I'd pay for gas. An hour later(4pm) we were headed down the interstate to Augusta.
I bought the car at Augusta Dodge, and it was a very good experience. Since we had already negotiated price on the phone, there was no haggling involved. I showed up, test drove the vehicle, filled out the paperwork, and drove it home. They even filled the gas tank for me.
Since it was an econo-box with a 4 cylinder engine, I expected anemic highway performance, but was greatly surprised how easily it accelerated to 80 mph. It is boxy like an SUV, but it has the chassis and suspension of a car, so it handles well on the road. We had an uneventful drive back and I bought Leigh dinner at Stax's Omega as a thank you for schlepping me 200 miles and driving that back again.
All in all, I love my black box and will post some pics after I take them today.
Over the past two weeks, I've test driven many cars. Everything from a Volkswagen New Beetle to a Honda Pilot to an Audi A6. This was more to familiarize myself with the cars out there and decide what attributes are important. First of all is reliability. I'm tired of cheap american econo-sedans that all look the same and crap out after 100k miles. Second was fuel efficiency, of course. And the third was comfort. I am a big guy, and a Yaris would not be a good fit. These were my only major considerations, but I also wanted something that wasn't like every other Camry out there, and something I can be enthusiastic about instead of yet another ho-hum-mobile.
The first vehicle I seriously considered was a Honda Element. On paper it was a good match, and the look of the car didn't bother me. When I test drove one however, I was not impressed. The driver area was not terribly comfortable(the window controls jammed into my leg) and the car had very little acceleration.
I tried a Saturn Vue next. Another small SUV with not terrible gas mileage. There was nothing bad about this vehicle, but nothing leaped out as nice either, and since the ones I looked at were $15-17k I didn't want to spend that much on something I didn't really care for.
Enter the Scion xB. It also met all of my requirements on paper. I went to test drive a 2006 in Easley that I saw on Autotrader. When I arrived, the car listed as an automatic turned into a 5-speed. I haven't driven a 5-speed in 10 years, but it was easier than I remembered it being. I loved the car. loved. The salesmen were sharks, though, and I wanted to try an automatic, so I walked off the lot.
At that point I stated doing heavy research on the xB online and calling dealers all around SC, NC, and GA. The only xB in Greenville was a 2005 with 42k miles that the dealer wanted $17,995 for. I found my black box in Augusta, GA. A 2006 with only 18,039 miles with a sticker price of $15,000. I talked him down to $12,500 and agreed to buy on Thursday just after lunch.
I had already setup financiang, so I just had to take my blank check from Capital One with me, but the problem was finding a ride down to Augusta within the next hour. Since it was Thursday afternoon, I was betting that Elias might be over at Jacob's apartment and drove over there (he never has any minutes on his phone), but no luck. Just as I was pulling out of the apartment complex, Leigh called me. She said she was having a bad day and needed to hang, so I told her my predicament and she volunteered to drive me to Augusta if I'd pay for gas. An hour later(4pm) we were headed down the interstate to Augusta.
I bought the car at Augusta Dodge, and it was a very good experience. Since we had already negotiated price on the phone, there was no haggling involved. I showed up, test drove the vehicle, filled out the paperwork, and drove it home. They even filled the gas tank for me.
Since it was an econo-box with a 4 cylinder engine, I expected anemic highway performance, but was greatly surprised how easily it accelerated to 80 mph. It is boxy like an SUV, but it has the chassis and suspension of a car, so it handles well on the road. We had an uneventful drive back and I bought Leigh dinner at Stax's Omega as a thank you for schlepping me 200 miles and driving that back again.
All in all, I love my black box and will post some pics after I take them today.
Friday, June 13, 2008
New (to me) Car!
After the second time of my Lumina being in the shop in as many weeks, I decided to stop delaying the inevitable and get a newer car. The Lumina is a 1999 model and has 150k miles, so I don't think there are too many miles left, and certainly not enjoyable miles at that. I'm giving it to my 17 year old brother as a first car.
Over the past two weeks, I've test driven many cars. Everything from a Volkswagen New Beetle to a Honda Pilot to an Audi A6. This was more to familiarize myself with the cars out there and decide what attributes are important. First of all is reliability. I'm tired of cheap american econo-sedans that all look the same and crap out after 100k miles. Second was fuel efficiency, of course. And the third was comfort. I am a big guy, and a Yaris would not be a good fit. These were my only major considerations, but I also wanted something that wasn't like every other Camry out there, and something I can be enthusiastic about instead of yet another ho-hum-mobile.
The first vehicle I seriously considered was a Honda Element. On paper it was a good match, and the look of the car didn't bother me. When I test drove one however, I was not impressed. The driver area was not terribly comfortable(the window controls jammed into my leg) and the car had very little acceleration.
I tried a Saturn Vue next. Another small SUV with not terrible gas mileage. There was nothing bad about this vehicle, but nothing leaped out as nice either, and since the ones I looked at were $15-17k I didn't want to spend that much on something I didn't really care for.
Enter the Scion xB.
Over the past two weeks, I've test driven many cars. Everything from a Volkswagen New Beetle to a Honda Pilot to an Audi A6. This was more to familiarize myself with the cars out there and decide what attributes are important. First of all is reliability. I'm tired of cheap american econo-sedans that all look the same and crap out after 100k miles. Second was fuel efficiency, of course. And the third was comfort. I am a big guy, and a Yaris would not be a good fit. These were my only major considerations, but I also wanted something that wasn't like every other Camry out there, and something I can be enthusiastic about instead of yet another ho-hum-mobile.
The first vehicle I seriously considered was a Honda Element. On paper it was a good match, and the look of the car didn't bother me. When I test drove one however, I was not impressed. The driver area was not terribly comfortable(the window controls jammed into my leg) and the car had very little acceleration.
I tried a Saturn Vue next. Another small SUV with not terrible gas mileage. There was nothing bad about this vehicle, but nothing leaped out as nice either, and since the ones I looked at were $15-17k I didn't want to spend that much on something I didn't really care for.
Enter the Scion xB.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
I've been neglectful
I haven't updated the blog in a while. Sorry about that.
The main reason is that I've been so busy at my website www.upstategeeks.com. We've had a lot of growth in the past month, and it's all I can do to keep up with the damned thing. :)
Brag: we just hit 100 members, we have over 6000 posts total and we've averaged 208 posts a day for the past week. Not bad for four months out.
The main reason is that I've been so busy at my website www.upstategeeks.com. We've had a lot of growth in the past month, and it's all I can do to keep up with the damned thing. :)
Brag: we just hit 100 members, we have over 6000 posts total and we've averaged 208 posts a day for the past week. Not bad for four months out.
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