Friday - Went out to The Command Post to give Mike from the D&D Meetup a CD-ROM with some RPGA adventures for the game day he's organizing for July 13th. I really don't want to run this, but I have a hard time saying no when someone asks me to do something. After that I went to Cherrydale Cinemas and saw Wanted(good stuff), and then went to Hollywood Video and bought 4 dvds with their buy 2 get 2 free promotion (Once, Into the Wild, The Namesake, and Stardust if you were interested).
Saturday - Watched Stardust and hung around for home for a while. Went to Vespers for the first time in three years and enjoyed being there, but I hate everyone making a big deal about me being there. I just want to get past this interregnum and back into the normal SJOTL swing of things. Of course, it's weird to want to get back into church life when I am so hopeless and am practically agnostic these days, but for better or worse it's home for me. After that, I went to Browncoat Karaoke at Guadalajara. We had a smaller crowd than usual (only 10 or so as opposed to 25-30 last time), but had a decent time. I sang "Benny and the Jets" with Evil and Patrick(not my choice) and "Tupelo Honey" on my own. I had put in "Amish Paradise" but didn't have time for that. Afterward, I went with Evil, Karly, and Good to see Wanted at Hollywood 20(yes, for the second time in two days).
Sunday - Went to SJOTL, left out early, and stopped by my old place to check the mail. I received my paycheck for jury duty a few weeks ago; a whopping $66. Woo-frickin'-hoo. Since some of the mail was for Jacob and he had the day off from work I stopped by his apartment. I invited him and Elias over to my place to watch season 2 of Dexter and to make something interesting out of the leftover chicken breasts from the picnic that needed to be used up. We ended up making a mole sauce and serving the chicken with onions and peppers along with guacamole(that we made), rice(zataran's jambalaya mix), and steamed squash and zucchini. It was excellent, and a great way to end the weekend.
I'm still pretty depressed, but I'm opening myself to the possibility that I can be somewhat happy even if I do give up on achieving any of my dreams. Maybe the fact that I can't let them go is what is making me so miserable, and I should just accept the not terribly interesting lower-middle class person that I am.
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6 comments:
I think goals seem more achievable if they are broken down into smaller parts, which can feel great when they are checked off the list.
And I'm sorry, but not terribly interesting? Hahahaha. *wipes tear away* No, I'm sorry, I'll stop laughing. *Giggle* Ummm... whatever.
I don't consider myself very interesting. I'm a good conversationalist and I am clever enough to keep witty banter flowing, but I've never really done anything with my life that I would consider interesting, like your friend that makes a living with her travel website. What is that website, btw?
Some people don't even bother making the connections.
The website my friend does (click the word website).
Which word? :p
I agree with Jenny here. I'm a couple years older than you, and am in a similar spot with the frustrated hopelessness of wanting to be creative for a living but realizing that I'm going to be stuck in corporate America for a long time. I was never prepared to live a mundane life.
But at the same time what you do with your days doesn't define you. It's all about perspective. Yeah, I work a humdrum boring job and I'm not a frickin fashion model and no, I am NOT published yet. But that doesn't mean that I'm not an interesting person, and I certainly don't think you should call yourself uninteresting either.
I mean, look at all the things you do - and this is just scratching the surface - but you're the consummate geek on UG, you're a beer connoisseur, you speak different languages, you're awesome at math AND writing. I think you're selling yourself short, my friend.
But listen: you feel however you need to feel right now. Just know that there are people out there, myself included, that feel very differently about you than how you feel about yourself right now.
::hugs::
da Vinci's last words were "I've done nothing with my life"
Sometimes we're a little too close to ourselves to see what we're really like.
David you are a wonderful friend and a genuinely good person. You're funny, you're talented and youbring people together.
I think maybe you don't see yourself as interesting because you're a little too close to see the whole picture....just the flaws.
and at 29...you're too young to say NEVER.
If you feel like you've never done anything interesting...then.......go do something interesting.
You're clever you can figure it out.
*grin*
*smootch*
I personally think you're the bee's knees.
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